I have been married for 16 years. They say the first five years are the hardest. However, my entire 16 years have been hard. When my wife told me she was pregnant, I immediately married her. This is the problem: Two months after we were married I came home and she was talking to a man on the phone.

We have two children. The thing that hurts me the most is that she cheated on me with my cousin. At first she denied it, but after about 10 years, she said it was true. Gwendolyn, I love her and when she admitted to sleeping with my cousin, I felt empty inside. She says that no other man can financially satisfy her. What should I do?—Benjamin

You have your father’s eyes.

Some say you looked more like Mom when you were little, but you favor Dad now. Same hair, same laugh, same sense of humor.

And the thing is, there isn’t a lot you can do about it. You are who you are.

In the new book “I Was Born This Way,” Archbishop Carl Bean (with David Ritz) tells about his childhood, careers, and God’s love and acceptance.

Editors Note: We regret to report that saxophonist Lou Donaldson is ill and unable to travel.  We keep him in our thoughts and prayers and hope for his rapid recovery.  The jazz continues, though, with world-renowned saxophonist, Sonny Fortune. Visit PghArts.org or call 412.456.6666 for TICKETS and information.

The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust’s JazzLive series presents the legendary Lou Donaldson and his quartet Nov. 23 at 8 p.m. at the Cabaret Theater.

Vice President and Director of Jazz Programs Janis Burley Wilson, says, “The Cabaret was voted by Pittsburgh Magazine as the Best Jazz Club, so what better way to celebrate than to bring a jazz giant to Pittsburgh.”

LOU DONALDSON

(NNPA) Dear Gwendolyn:

Last year I went into business with a lady I had only known for three months. This is the problem: I borrowed $20,000 to start a home for the elderly—24 hr. sitting. I used the money to rent a large facility that had once been a small patient clinic. I purchased all furniture and medical equipment needed. I immediately had near full capacity.

My daughter came home one afternoon with a schoolmate. Her schoolmate told me her mother was looking for a job. After talking with her mother, she explained to me she was looking for a partner and not necessarily a job.