BILL NEAL

:10 The Masters is Coming, the Masters is Coming, the Masters is Coming…and so is Tiger Woods, and he’s bringing hell with him. (Tombstone…Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp, after they killed his brother.) Come on people try to keep up.
:09 “Champions” High School All-Star Basketball Classic (formerly The Kenny Durrett High School All-Star Basketball Classic) is back on track after a down year last year due to extenuating circumstances beyond our control. But as the saying goes, “Champions Rise to the Occasion…That’s Why They Are Champions.” And rise we did as the 38th annual classic tipped off Sunday, April 7 at the brand spanking new and super magnificent, state of the art Penn Hills High School. Over 1,000 people rolled through on the day to see the middle school girls’ tournament won by Pittsburgh Impact and the boys middle school tournament won by “UMOJA” out of Homewood. The big events on the day saw the WPIAL high school senior girls dominate the Pittsburgh City League girls for the fifth consecutive year with a final score of 58-36. And bringing home the WPIAL sweep, the WPIAL boys won a hard fought contest in a great game over the City League boys, 54-53. The event was a slam-dunk on the day and a “Great” time was had by all. A big thank you goes out to all our sponsors, volunteers, players, coaches, All-Star committee and executive staff, and most especially Chuck Sanders Charities and the Penn Hills Democratic Committee. And a real tip of the hat goes out to Jerry Chippinelli and Phil Scaleri.

:08 “The only mistake you made is you got caught.” (Lee Marvin talking to Charles Bronson when he was getting him out of jail to join The Dirty Dozen) And that was the beginning of Mike Rice Jr.’s problems. Yeah it’s old school coaching. Lord knows we…me…and you…and a bunch of us got worse than that when we played ball back in the day, especially you “Bulldogs”…hell, what Andy Urbanic did to us in Penn Hills would get him 10-20 years in jail today. But, But, But You-Can-Not-Do-It-Today!!! The rough stuff and the loud talking…well, okay. But the slander and the Homo-Phob references and the balls thrown at the family jewels, no can do. Rice will coach again, but you won’t be alive to see it. I’m Just Saying!
:07 Do yourself a favor. Come Friday and until Monday for the next year…Stay your butt off the Parkway East…I am telling ya!
:06 Louisville wins the NCAA just like I said. Take it to the bank! Okay, okay, I really said Indiana. So for the first time in the three years I’ve been writing for this historic newspaper I was wrong. C’mon man!!
:05 Don’t feel bad about “Your” Pittsburgh Pirates being 1 and 5 to start the season. Last year at this time they were 2 and 6. Hope ya feel better.
:04 Here’s your movie review. Shut up and take it like a man…or woman…or whatever! First you got Halle Berry in “The Call.” You remember Halle, don’t you, the Oscar Award winning actress by day and resident Hoochie-Mama by night. (Yeah I said it! She’s about to have her second baby with another baby daddy…what do you call her?) Anyway, the movie was really good and I give it 3 Basketballs. You’ll be pleasantly surprised, I promise. And because I love ya and I know you love the reviews, here’s a double dip for ya. Go see “Olympus Has Fallen” with Gerard Butler. He kills a bunch of bad guys and in ugly ways, including stabbing them in the brain. Man I love that stuff. 3 ? Basketballs. Now swallow!
:03 Serena wins again. Some tournament, somewhere. What else is new!?!
:02 In case you haven’t heard “Master Jacquet Bazemore” is back and in superior form. He did The Halftime Show at the All-Star Classic Sunday. All he did was bust up 22 inches of concrete blocks with his head and then run a 12 inch spike through his neck and hang a bucket of bricks from it with a rope…yeah that’s all he did…what! Okay, you don’t believe what my eyes saw, then don’t miss his upcoming show coming up the first of June, you will be amazed at what this man can do.
:01 The University of Pittsburgh lost running back Rushel Shell and center Steve Adams in the same week. In my opinion…no loss at all. Champions Step Up!
:00 Double Overtime. Harlem Nights coming April 26, get ready to get ready. Rayco War Promotions, Five Starr Corporation and the legend, Sly Jock with “Rock ya til we drop ya”— more next week.
:00 Triple Overtime. “Slade” you and the other cats that call me to admit I am wrong about what I am writing about…forget about it…never gonna happen. REMEMBER, THE MAN WITH THE INK PEN IN THE END WINS!

Brendon Ayanbadej

BALTIMORE (AP) — Former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo says up to four NFL players may soon come out as gay, according to a published report.

FAVORITE--Tiger Woods tees off on the first hole during a practice round for the Masters April 9, in Augusta, Ga. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

by Tim Dahlberg

AUGUSTA, Ga. (AP) — He's got a swing he can finally trust, a putter that shows flashes of the old magic, and a string of wins to prove that it's all finally coming together.

AUBREY BRUCE

Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. I want to fly like an eagle, to the sea. Fly like an eagle let my spirit carry me. I want to fly like an eagle till I’m free, oh, Lord, through the revolution. (Steve Miller Band) Oh Lord the 2013 Pirates are at 1-5 with a winning percentage of .167. Now let’s see. Can we blame pitching? H’mm Pittsburgh has played 6 games, with a 1-5 record with a 5th best E.R.A of 2.82. So it is not the boys’ on the hill that we should be yelling and screaming at. Hey but wait the “slumber company” is dead last in the NL in hitting with a .119 batting average with 8 RBIs and 1 homerun in 6 games. Lord, Lord, Lord if this atrocious offense does not pick up in the next 6 games, someone somewhere had better bring out their microscope and begin seriously evaluating talent in the minors. Although in some circles that might be cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face because the present day Pirates are considered by many baseball aficionados as just another minor league team. A few of my associates have adopted what they consider to be a “revolutionary spirit.” They say things like; “I will not go to the ballpark just to sit and watch the Pirates lose.” My response is always; “Well if you stay at home and watch them lose on “ROOT” Sports they may still lose but if they win you have blown the opportunity to take the family on an outing to witness the beginning of a possible Bucco’s winning streak. See boys’ and girls’ if your squad is fifth in pitching and dead last in hitting the chances of the team being at or near the top of the leader board in any baseball league whether it is little league, pony league, rum league or the big leagues is slim to none. Pirates starting pitcher James McDonald lost a 3-2 heartbraker to the Chicago Cubs last week and was very benevolent about the Pirates hitting or lack thereof.

He said, “It’s not frustrating, those guys play hard behind me every day. It’s only a matter of time until we start scoring four or five runs a game ... 12 runs. You’ll see us put up runs soon.” McDonald being the team player that he is spoke highly of a Pirates offense that has been up to this point in the season, should I say less than stellar. Cleanup man Pedro Alvarez, who went 1 for 6 with runners in scoring position, struck out on three pitches with no outs in the ninth inning with the tying run at third base and the winning run at first. Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future. All this talk about we are gonna win soon, well the formula does not seem like it will be discovered or rediscovered in 2013 or any year, anytime soon. Well I must admit the last sentence might have been a bit too cynical. Plus I really, truly believe that in spite of their atrocious start the Pirates still have a chance even though you might not be able to tell by some of the comments of the current crop of players or their manager. As of the writing of this column, the Pirates were preparing to face the Arizona Diamondbacks who were sporting a 5-1 record, exactly opposite the 1-5 albatross that the Pirates were dragging around. The Diamondbacks will be facing Wandy Rodriguez (1-0, 0.00 ERA), who helped the Pirates (1-5) to their only win, 3-0 over the Chicago Cubs last Wednesday. Rodriguez surrendered two hits, one walk and struck out six over 6 2/3 innings. After the masterful shutout Pirates manager Clint Hurdle said; “He’s a pro.” Well what is that saying? Are the rest of his pitchers, not pro’s. Rodriguez who sported a 12-12 record in April before his start against the D-Backs must have been a pro 50 percent of the time and not a pro the other 50 percent of the time. The Pirates have to find and get on a high horse and ride it until it collapses. They may not make it to the finish line but they have to “ride their pony, get on their pony and ride” either to victory or oblivion. Let’s forget all of the talk about big markets, small markets, free agency, salary caps, rich owners or not so rich owners (show me a rich or not so rich owner). Baseball like any other sport has to be about desire and heart; and taking responsibility. Although there has been season after season of the Pirates standing in the “losers circle” now is the time to put up or shut up. The infielders have to dive and do a few cartwheels attempting to stop a ball from leaving the infield. Outfielders have to run over, around and through hail, sleet and rain and scorching sun to track down balls within and oftentimes balls on their way to the stratosphere. The time for woe is me is past. These guys get paid like everybody else and should be expected like everyone else to perform above and beyond their ability. Don’t boycott the team, go to the games buy a hotdog and a soda. Boo them into the next galaxy when their play is less than expected and cheer them to Valhalla when they play well…..nuff said
(Aubrey Bruce can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or 412-583-6741.)