Created on Friday, 18 January 2013 10:27 Last Updated on Tuesday, 22 January 2013 09:54 Published on Friday, 18 January 2013 10:27 Written by Bill Neal Hits: 402
:10 RRRRiiiinnnngggg… RRRRiiiinnnngggg… Ring damn it! Oh my bad… Hello, Smitty’s Bar and Grill. You know how we call it, you stab-um and we’ll slab-um! Smitty here. Who? Mike who? Naw, nobody here named Mike Brown. No. I’m telling you, I am looking at the whole joint right now and the only ones here are a bunch of drunk Notre Dame dudes. Chris Rainey in the corner talking to hisself, Lance Armstrong and Oprah (No, my man, you don’t wanna know). Oh wait, you talking bout “Coach Brown.” We don’t know his first name. We just call him Coach. He came in here a few months ago with a clipboard talkin’ bout somebody named Jerry Buss did him wrong. But you know the strangest thing happened last week. He came in with “Mrs. Rudolph.” You know, the voo-doo lady from round the way and they both kept saying something about, “Who’s sorry now you S-O-Bs?” Alright, hold on, I’ll get him. Yo, “Coach Brown,” you wanted on the phone man… some cat named “Kobe.” Said he needs to talk to you right away and he said to tell Mr. Rudolph he got “A Goose and Turkey!”
:09 To me it’s real simple. The baseball players used PEDs. PEDs weren’t illegal. The league knew they were using them while they were knocking the cover off the ball and making a zillion dollars. That means everyone on the list goes in the Hall of Fame. Bonds, Clemons, Sosa… they’re all in! Like I said, real simple. (For you late to the dance Peabody grads, that’s performance enhancing drugs…PEDs).
:08 I saw Ruthie Walker at my favorite writing spot (and yes, I only go there for the wings). Anyway, if you think she’s not one of the best girls Middle School coaches in the city league, you try winning 5 championships in six years. Yea, that’s what I thought! Hey Ruthie, you’re now In The Locker Room.
:07 Well, Fred and Booker and, yeah, my old man too. The fat lady may not be singing, but she’s warming up her pipes on the Lakers. But I am a true fan. I am going down with the ship. Give it a few more weeks before I pull the plug. (Hey LeBron… LeBron… wait up my man… what’s up?).
:06 Lance Armstrong, WILL – YOU – PLEASE – JUST – SHUT – UP! And don’t start that crying with Oprah. Take it to the grave with ya. Follow the Barry Bonds, Roger Clemons plan. If you didn’t see it, I didn’t do it! C’mon man!!
:05 How does a KFC close up in Homewood and East Liberty? A chicken joint that can’t stay open in the Hood, I’m just saying!?!?!
:04 “Sir Eddie Tibbs.” Your record speaks for itself. You don’t need me to add on. But you’re one of the all-time great guys and you’re now In The Locker Room! (And by the way, I like that touch of gray you keep adding to your hair each month!)
:03 Hey Monessen School Board, “Do the right thing” like Charlie Batch said. Let Chavis Rollins march with his graduating class and get his paper. The young man is a great scholarship athlete on his way to WVU a year early. The quality of the young man is impeccable. All he did was exercise his freedom of speech, or should I say his freedom to Facebook?! (You City Leaguers, get caught up on the story. Read a Courier mmmaaannn!)
:02 Chris Rainey………………for real. I got nothing!
:01 At the Buzzer, 2013 Style. HHHHeeeerrrreeee we Go!
•Coach Harvey Smith and Coach Quinten Johns will bring financial security to ya…for ya! Jan. 27 is the official coming out showcase for Organo Gold Coffee Gourmet. If you want to change your financial life, as well as your children and your grandchildren, you don’t want to miss this event, 3 until 6 p.m. at 3 Lakes Golf Course. 6700 Saltsburg Rd. Call “Q” for information, 412-628-7947.
•There’s only one Super Bowl party to be at! The Champions and 3 Lakes Super Bowl party Feb. 3 at 3 Lakes Golf Course in Penn Hills. (Where else?!?!) Doors open at 5:30, kickoff at 6:30. Fun, prizes and surprises, 50/50, and special guest, former Pittsburgh Steeler West Lyons. Wear your black and gold anyway. We ain’t done yet! Call 412-793-7111 for more information.
•The “Ultimate Force” karate and boxing show is coming at you real soon, saluting Master Jacquet Basemore, Rayco “War” Saunders and others. It’s going to be a-mazing!! More information coming soon.
•Champions High School All-Star Basketball Classic, featuring Western Pa’s top seniors, back on track, Saturday April 6. Seniors… it’s your time… get ready!
•Get out and support your local high school basketball teams. Do it, do it now! High school basketball. It’s FAN – TAS – TIC !!!
~ GAME OVER ~
Digital Daily Signup
Sign up now for the New Pittsburgh Courier Digital Daily newsletter!