This is the problem: My boyfriend now has a new girlfriend. She is 22 and his mother likes her. I refuse to throw away 14 years of doing for him to let some little floozie take him from me. We never lived together. He has never left his mother’s house. For years I would buy household items and store them in my mother’s basement. I was hoping we could move in together —even if marriage was to come later. I still live with my mother, but when I move, my brother and his family will move there. I so much wish to have my own place. I am 54 and my boyfriend is 56.
Gwendolyn, do you think it is too late for me to marry—and should I give up on trying to keep my friend? Be truthful with me. I can take it. Do you think I have kept my dream too long?—Angela
Dear Angela: Yes, I do and now I think it is time for you to awake. Let me tell you this: A 22-year-old lady, still practically just a girl, cannot compete with a 54-year-old woman. A 54-year-old woman cannot compete with a 22-year-old lady, especially not physically. But usually a 22-year-old does not have the brain of a 54-year-old—has not experienced life enough. But men don’t always look for brains. They look for beauty.
Angela, let him go. You do not need to wait around for another leap year. There is one serious thing you need to do and that is to get something going for you. Even if you meet a man at your age, you have nothing to offer. Think about it. His 22-year-old new girlfriend has youth. You no longer have that. When you get your own place, do not allow your friend of 14 years to come near your doorstep. Get a guard dog, show your friend’s picture to the dog and train the dog to never allow him to come near your doorstep. Too often we spend the best of our years in foolishness—wishing for someone who is—not worth a time.
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